This is the question of our day.
My answer: I don’t know. Every woman who has been through something like that has her own reason for remaining silent. Every situation is different. The main thing to remember is that remaining silent is not proof that the accusation is false. A woman could wait awhile to come out with an accusation if she chose to. Logically, the passage of time proves nothing. People who suggest it does are making a lot of assumptions about the person who has come forward, assumptions that are nothing more than base speculation.
Some women may be afraid of retaliation. Others may feel that if they weren’t physically harmed by the action, at least not permanently, it may be better to let it go. Some don’t want to embarrass their spouses or children. A woman who is raped may fear her relationship with a spouse or boyfriend may change after an assault.
Some women may be career-focused, feeling they have to “suck it up” for the sake of maintaining their careers, taking a cue from women in earlier eras who negotiated harassment without resorting to legal measures. Even if the complaint is factual, there may be a professional or personal price to pay for coming out publicly with a such a complaint.
Imagine an employer saying of a potential hire: “This woman accused her boss at her last job of sexual harassment. I definitely want an assertive employee like that.” Can’t imagine that? Neither can I.
This leads us to the people who argue that women who wait to complain must be lying because no woman who is abused would just keep it to herself. This is a self-contradictory argument. An abused woman hesitates to come forward because she fears she will not be believed. When she finally comes forward and is not believed, this only proves her reasons for not coming forward were justified.
Punishing women for coming out “too late” does serve one clear purpose, however. It is an effective way to hush up victims. It puts women in the impossible situation of choosing between lodging a complaint immediately and risking retaliation from the perpetrator, or waiting for the safety of the passage of time and being accused of making it up. That is a lose-lose proposition if there ever was one.
How much time has to pass before it is “too late”? Who gets to decide this? There may be a statute of limitations on legal punishment, but there is no statute of limitations on the truth. That Julius Caesar was assassinated 2,000 years ago doesn’t change the fact that he was assassinated. A complaint alleged about an event 20 years ago deserves the same attention as one that happened yesterday.
Everyone knows sexual harassment happens. “She’s a liar” can’t be an acceptable defense to one of the most common crimes in existence. Imagine if “you are lying” were a sufficient defense for armed robbery. How many Americans would agree to that?
People who doubt women who come forward after many years need to ask themselves this question: Is there ever a good time to accuse someone of sexual harassment? There is always a price to be paid for standing up to a bully.